Scouting oneself

Having known all our hidings, we are now ready to search for ourselves. Here, I will begin with Carl Jung.

"Whoever looks outside dreams; whoever looks inside awakes."

It is good to dream, but to make the dream materialize, we need to awaken ourselves to our true qualities that can make our dreams come true. This is the place where we need to go back and see all my hiding places. Many times, these hidings are so ingrained in our behavior that we have started considering them as one of our own. Let us see a few examples:

"Yes, I’m a control freak—I admit it.

I’m only a workaholic because I love my job so much. Are you going to criticize me for that?

Oh, I know I’m a perfectionist. That’s just me."

If we keep doing this, we are actually suppressing our true potential by denying it. I have done this quite a few times. I remember my olden days when I was a control freak. I wanted everything under my control. If it were not happening, I would shout and go mad. If I had chosen to live here, saying, 'I know I am like this, what would I do?' Many times, we give ourselves to other people's expectations, allowing them to decide how we will live. I would have also not realized this difference had I never been a calm person before. Since I knew I could be calm, my controlling behavior was troubling me, so I did things differently. I badly wanted to calm down. So, I started searching for what caused it.

Carl Jung and Jungian psychoanalyst James Hollis (Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life) talk about the first half of life and the second half of life. In the first half of our lives, we are busy making our own identity. Once we are done with this and have made quite a bit of money, we face something called a "midlife crisis." This is the time when we start searching for the deeper meaning and purpose of our lives. Many authors have tried to explain this. Gail Sheehy says that it is midlife, 'when we move out of our roles into ourselves,' and that is true. James Hollis proposes that when we enter the second half of life, typically between the ages of 40 and 50, we grow more conscious of our mortality and start asking ourselves different questions: "What does the soul want from me?" "What does my existence mean?" and "Who am I beyond my roles and my past?" Here, the soul is a person's inner life, their character, and their spiritual core.

THE COURAGE TO BE WHO I AM

This journey is not easy, but at the same time, it doesn't give up at any time. It all begins with a restless self-seeking for something that gives them true meaning. We all come to this point in our lives. Those who choose to live their lives fully walk this way, rest, and settle with what they get. That is the realm we enter when we choose to pursue greater authenticity, fidelity, and integrity. Sometimes walking this way feels like a struggle, a never-ending battle to see things happen in our favor. Sometimes it feels tough, and you find yourself dragging yourself all alone.

We all want this, but still, we choose to hide.

WHAT MAKES ME TO STEP BACK FROM HERE?

We step back because we fear rejection and humiliation. We feel what people will say if we do not succeed. Now, this fear could be either anticipatory or inhibitory. So, when I choose a hiding place, my fears shift; they could be either anticipatory or inhibitory. We say in our hidings if we choose the inhibitory pathway.

WHAT I AM TYPING TO PROVE?

When I read these lines from the book "The Inner Self: The Joy of Discovering Who We Really Are",' if you are determined to get on with that book you’ve always wanted to write but you keep accepting invitations to do things that distract you from writing, ask yourself: What am I trying to prove?' I was like, This is happening to me. I have planned two books and started them, but then I have to go to work, and I did not get time to do them. This year, I decided to participate in as many blogging events as possible. I have been successful so far. If I judge this situation with these similar questions posed by Huge Mackay, I will have better answers towards discovering myself: Who am I trying to impress, and why do I want to impress them even more than I want to be true to myself? Why am I unable to say no, even when it’s clear to me that that’s what I should say? Why am I pretending to be someone other than myself?

WITH THIS, WHAT AM I COMPENSATING?

Compensation is a department we are very good at. When it comes to relationships, we give up our real selves and compensate, even though it is unbearable. The best example is domestic violence, dowry ill-treatment, etc. We play similar games with our inner selves too. I will put here the concept of the Johari window, which defines our knowledge of ourselves and of others. When we accept feedback, we are increasing our open area and making ourselves know more about ourselves. On the other hand, by allowing more self-disclosures, we also allow others to know more about ourselves, thereby increasing open space lengthwise and developing trust. Compensation is no answer to being ourselves. It is only encouraging ourselves to be in our hiding and not attaining our true potential.

Our journey of soul searching is essential, and if we do it sincerely, we will be out of our hidings and attaining true heights for ourselves.

I'm participating in #BlogchatterA2Z and hyperlink https://www.theblogchatter.com

Find my blogchatter A2Z 2024 series:

A- Arms of addiction

B- Babbling busyness

C- Cunning complacency and craving certaininty

D- Daring dreams(ambition)

E- Erratic ilk of arrogance

F- Fraudulent Forgetting

G- Gullible guilt and shame

H-Hankering Happiness pursuit

I- Infringes of information technology