A light in the darkness

                                                                Image credit:  Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke  on pixabay Having talked all this season on decision making, I have now arrived at a point where I landed up to this book, " Yes or No: The Guide to Better Decisions. " Hello readers, Here, I want to ask you, What can I do to make the best decision in my life? You all might say, consult, seek advice, and review your resources.  I too would have jumped into the same pond and responded the same way. This book taught me the other way around. The guide here said, "There is no best decision rather we make better decisions." He added, "To make a better decision I first stop proceeding with a poor decision." This sounded weird. How will I make a better decision by stopping because, if I stop here, how will I get the better portion?  Let me simplify this in this way: I want hot tea in my cup which is full.  There are two possible ways, one by pouring the h

                                                      Image credit:  Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke   on pixabay The four barricades to decision-making are 1) Narrow framing I always found myself in this trap. I have read and heard about flexibility but I never thought such narrow framings were actually taking me far away from flexibility and vast opportunities. As I reflect back and review my life I have put myself many a time in such approach-avoidance conflicts, or avoidance-avoidance conflicts and landed up with compromising negotiation style .  So, what is this narrow framing? I remember my days of selecting my stream for senior secondary schooling. Should I choose PCMB  (Physics, Chemistry, Maths, Biology)  or PCMC(Physics, Chemistry, Maths, Computer Science)? The same drill happened when I had to decide should I drop out and prepare for my job or join a college? We come across such limiting decisions now and then. Should I buy this car or not? Should I opt to join another compan

Continuing my discussion from my last post on "P's of decision-making"   Let us move forward to see what elements of pain and pleasure influence our decision-making behaviour.  To understand this we need to understand the following concepts(Based on B F Skinner's reinforcement theory / operational conditioning ): a) Reinforcement : We use reinforcement when we want to increase the frequency of the behaviour. This boosts the behaviour. There are two types of reinforcements     i) Positive reinforcement: Positive consequences that increase the probability of the behaviour I want                                                             to see.      ii) Negative reinforcement: Negative consequences are withheld, thus increasing the probability of the                                                                 behaviour I want to see.  b) Punishment: We use punishments when we want to reduce the frequency of behaviour.  In the course of decision-making, we actuall

                                                          Image credit:  Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke   on Pixabay Pondering over the concept of decision-making, I was compelled to think about what really makes us take a decision. Why do we ever choose to decide? When this question was thrown to me by the author Antony Robbins, I was like I never thought about it, it just happens. As I proceeded in my reading the discussion was becoming more interesting and the answer I came up with was really a shock to me. The author talked about why did Donald Trump do what he did and why Mother Teresa did what she liked? Both of them are making decisions to do things but in different ways. Even though it is about decision-making why are they different in all manners? Decision-making is a cognitive process, which means, it has something to do with thinking. But, this thinking process is led by our emotions (emotions associated with "pain or/and pleasure").  What our decisions are emotiona

                                                            Image Credit: Andy on pixabay Carrying you back to my previous post on "How do you see the pain experience?"  I learned to see pain as a learning experience to make better decisions. This landed me on a page that teaches us how to handle our pain for better results. This post is to draw the power from the pains we are suffering.  1) Surrender The pain has the power to break us to the extent that we feel crippled. How do we see this crippling experience? Does it hurt our ego? or does it unite us with our true friends who are always there with us when we need them ( unity). Pain reminds us that we are not complete in our own selves rather we need help to complete ourselves. It teaches us to give due consideration to this recessive part of ourselves by surrendering and taking help. So, I see these surrendering moments as liberating moments when we give collaboration an upper hand that holds our ego high up. I think thes

For years, I have drawn strength from this quote from Thomas Edison "I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work." One-time failure and the second-time failure you can keep encouraging yourselves with this quote. But, over time when nothing was working as I had planned; voices within me started becoming louder and louder. This point is the real challenge when your ways have not worked. What you do at this moment and how far you can tolerate this situation decides your destiny.      I remember days when my heart would say now I can tolerate no more. It was wise to be in the comfort zone, at least my basic needs would have been met. The rumbling is quite right but if I had turned back to my comfort zone thinking it was too much and unbearable, I would have missed the experiences that were about to be born that would lead me to my destiny.      When the hardships of life press, indefinitely, our mind gets clogged with the negative notions that prevail ar