A light in the darkness

  This season of Blogchatter, 2025, I chose to explore self-love, and yes, it has helped me discover some of the most interesting topics, which I would have been otherwise ignorant of, but they are important. In this course I came across the term "self-care." Everywhere you go, you will hear it: self-care yoga, self-care spa, self-care massage, self-care diet, and on and on.... What is this self-care all about? I read somewhere that we should exercise as part of self-care. I was putting on weight, and I started doing exercise, and after a while, when I lost some weight, I stopped. By definition, this is also self-care? I am not very happy with this kind of self-care.  I still remember those days of my life when I had to get up early at 5 am and rush to make meals, and then I had to run to catch the bus so that by 9:30 or 10 am I reached my institute. I worked there with a schedule, and then by six I ran to catch my bus. I used to reach back to my house by 9 at night. People w...

  This week I have talked to you about our basic needs (the L-factor), and then I talked to you about no shortcuts while discussing organizing the important over the urgent (quadrant II).  Now the question arises, how is this L-factor related to shortcuts, and what does this X-factor have to do with it? Isn't this rumbling in your head?  To help you understand this better, let me set up a quick scenario. Amit said, "You are a son of a bitch." Rehan slapped Amit. So, the above scene looks like this.  It seems that Amit provided the acting event or adversity (in other terms, provided the stimulus). Now this stimulus made Rehan angry, and he slapped (consequence, i.e., emotional and behavioral outcomes; response). It seems that there was a stimulus that made the consequence or response occur. Psychologist Albert Ellis simplified it more. He gave the ABC theory . In this theory A- Acting event or Adversity B- Belief (thoughts, interpretations, or self-talk) C- Consequen...

As I have finished discovering myself. Now is the time to give me importance. Prioritize means to add gravity to my own existence. I have been a big fan of Stephen Covey, and as I read his book First Things First , it adds much meaning to prioritizing oneself.  He began with a conversation with his daughter, who has recently given birth to her third child. She says that she was so frustrated because this baby is taking all her time, and she cannot do things that only she can do (her projects, her contributions, and other household jobs).  Her father said, " Just relax. “ Relax and enjoy the nature of this new experience. Let this infant feel your joy in the role of mother. No one else can love and nurture that child the way you can. All other interests pale in comparison for now.” When I read this, it just opened my eyes to multitudes of things that were running in my head. The author mentioned one more line that caught my attention most. “Don’t even keep a schedule. Forget yo...

  Having discussed with you about setting boundaries, missing out on a no will be a big blunder. No is in fact the master game changer that sets boundaries.  Though I am not a people pleaser, I still remember days when I feared saying no. I have had two incidents that have highly impacted my life.  Let me name this incident as incident 1. It was my first profession, where I was asked to do something that was against my values. I feared saying no because I had just joined my job, and in that environment, saying no was considered rebellious. I did not say no and did what was commanded. Later I showed those loopholes to a higher official. This move adversely impacted my life. I fought the tough fight, and later on I got acceptance for this no.  This is incident 2. It was in my mid-career life when my most senior official asked me to give her home services. In that institution, no one said no to her. I said to her that I don't give home services. I was called to have a f...

When I started to search for this topic, I came across one of these posts on positive psychology . The site says that either because of your curiosity, some life's situation, or some events in life, you are pushed to search for your higher self.   I still remember those days when I had secured a good job and was earning quite well. I was single and had much time after work. Those were the days when I started to think about what to do now.  My city did not have big libraries or bookstores. In this new city, I found a good bookstore and bought many books and CDs of my interest. I started reading them. They refined my thinking and guided me to Waterman's (2011) process of searching for my true self. He said we need to find these three things a) Personal potentials b) Our purpose for living  c) Opportunities to act upon these potentials and purposes of living.  I found things that I was best at, then good at, and also things that I found difficult to do. The purpose...

  We have all heard about mindfulness in the present era. Mindfulness training, mindful meditation, mindful yoga practices, etc.  Mindfulness means moment-to-moment awareness of one's experience without judgement. I have read this many times, but within myself I always felt I didn't understand it fully. What do you mean by moment-to-moment awareness? The American Psychological Association says that mindfulness means an awareness of one's internal states and surroundings. What do we mean by awareness of one's internal states? This means that you are fully present and aware of your experiences, i.e., your senses, feelings, and thoughts, without being overly reactive and judgemental. (see here ) This insight took me those days of my life when I was learning to be mindful. Comparing those blissful days to my present days, I can sense the difference. I can understand the change of feeling that has taken place and the thoughts that have been rumbling in my brain. When I star...

Life is a complex art carved by our heart. As we step into this world, we are put into a pullback motor where a wind-up mechanism comes into action. This wind-up mechanism provides energy for doing the work. In our lives also we have these wind-up mechanisms. In this A2Z challenge 2025, I will be covering self-love.  Self-love means having regard for our own well-being and contentment. Self-love is an endless source of energy that can be accessed and awakened in countless ways. Interest in self-love is a very powerful human trait.  We are often our own biggest obstacle. The more we nurture a genuinely loving, compassionate, understanding, and empowering relationship with ourselves, the more unstoppable we become—regardless of what life looks like on the outside or within. This reminds me of this quote “The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” —C. JoyBell C.  Mo...