A light in the darkness

  I was trying to find out the connecting bridge between hobby and self-care. Self-care is any act that takes care of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of life. It is responsible for our overall well-being.  Hobby is defined by Merriam-Webster as  a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation. This means that a hobby is something that we don't do regularly. Secondly, it is accompanied by relaxation, i.e., we do it because we get pleasure and relaxation.  Hobbies are not just anything that you use as filler to pass your free time. They are the bridges that connect you to the real you. You do work for others and gather loads of baggage that makes your visibility impossible. We worked together, but one got recognition and the other was ignored; resentment and inferiority feelings came. Like this, so much baggage we pile at our backs every minute and every day makes our visibility poorer and poorer. When we take up ...

As we have reached the end, I now need to wrap up my stuff to make my A to Z look like an organized pile. I was thinking about what to write for this letter. Since my theme was self-love and I have now focused on one segment of self-love, i.e., self-care, I think this topic needs to be attended to here.  I have been talking so much about what is important and then prioritizing myself; these all draw to one point, and that is sleep. I had been a very good sleeper in my early years. Ask me to sleep in class, ask me to sleep in the night, ask me to sleep in the day—all times it was possible for me without regret. Climbing the ladder of advancing years, I found that my sleep was getting lesser and lesser. Yes, hormonal changes are the reason, but the need for sleep remains there. So, I thought to include this in my journey. I read two books in this context. One is "Why can't we sleep?"   Darian's narration reminded me of a famous concept from health psychology: either you...

  I never thought that exploring self-care would bring me this far. In my last post, a sensational strand of support brought me to the post,  why it's so hard to ask for help . This sent my brain to work as to why we don't take help when it is available. Jameson's research on the impact of gratitude and self-compassion on asking behavior was something related to my search. In his research paper, he proposed that we do not ask for help because we will have to become vulnerable. Mike Robbins also has similar views, where he says that when we ask for help, we present ourselves as weak. Secondly, he also says that when we ask for help, we also come into the zone of hearing no or being rejected. Further, when we seek help, we have to open some of our own details to the other person, which we do not want to do. Vulnerability is equal to death. Yes, when we have to open ourselves, we feel it is near impossible because that is what we have been trying to hide all these days. Vuln...

  When I started talking about taking time for yourself in my previous, I thought they would also advise all routines of meditation, exercise, rest, etc. The book began with a story in the book Gratitude Jar.   Mrs. X was having two kids. One was 4 years old, and the other one was 9 months old. Her husband was the breadwinner, and she was the homemaker. All day she would look after the house and do every chore and eagerly wait for her husband to come back so that she could sneak into the kitchen and have her daily doses of booze. This has totally sent her off track, and now she feels that she needs to fix this. This kind of life is not what she wanted.  She was lucky enough to find a coach. Even before the coach dives into her self-care, she asks her to take help from her husband when possible; that was the turning point.  A few years back I attended the conference of Michael Unger on Resilience. In his course, he also emphasized social support. He had us draw a map ...

When I started to write about taking my downtime, I realized I am not interested in the well-planned self-care that every other person is talking about in the market. I myself have tried them many a time but often gave up in between. I don't want something like that to happen this time. So, I was searching for one thing that makes the difference and makes my self-care my personal stuff, unique and made for me only types.  This is the place where intuitive guidance works. I happened to refer to two books to understand this topic better, and both have contributed a lot in making this topic even more meaningful.  In this fast-paced life, we often find ourselves racing and forgetting ourselves. This is the point to have a heart-based awareness, or heart intelligence, which is the key to managing our personal and planetary changes in speed.  We have heard these metaphors: "Listen to your heart," "Go to your heart for answers, and Put your heart into it." You must hav...

  After a month-long journey of understanding oneself and prioritizing oneself, I have now reached a state where I need to have some downtime, a place to rest and relax, and time to care for myself.  I found many books that guided me systematically to care for myself. Yeah! It seems very promising and good, but after a while, even though they are very good and meet my requirements, I give up. I don't want this kind of self-care, which I have to start all over again and again.  Reading this book, Take Time for Your Life , introduced me to the very puddle I always find myself in and struggle to find my own life. I still remember my younger days when I used to sincerely journal. These journalings have helped me to pour out my emotions and vent well, and hence, I have much clearer views of my life. Today, I realize how much harm I have done myself by not journaling all these years. I feel I am becoming the same lost and confused me from which I had come out. This reviewing of...