Sensational Strand of Support

By watedroplet Water April 29, 2025

When I started talking about taking time for yourself in my previous, I thought they would also advise all routines of meditation, exercise, rest, etc. The book began with a story in the book Gratitude Jar.

Mrs. X was having two kids. One was 4 years old, and the other one was 9 months old. Her husband was the breadwinner, and she was the homemaker. All day she would look after the house and do every chore and eagerly wait for her husband to come back so that she could sneak into the kitchen and have her daily doses of booze. This has totally sent her off track, and now she feels that she needs to fix this. This kind of life is not what she wanted.

She was lucky enough to find a coach. Even before the coach dives into her self-care, she asks her to take help from her husband when possible; that was the turning point.
A few years back I attended the conference of Michael Unger on Resilience. In his course, he also emphasized social support. He had us draw a map of all the people you feel you can connect with, and why do you want to connect with them? Once my map was complete, I saw it was full of people. That drill made me realize that I can seek their help when I feel stuck or unable to move forward. I was then assured that I am not alone; I also have people whom I can approach for help.

I am an introvert, and making friends is nowhere on my to-do list. Life does not go alone; this is also true. At times, I find myself overtired and super exhausted doing all things myself. Writing these things is bringing back all those situations where I could have sought help and reduced my anxiety and stress.

Way back when I was graduating, I was a hobby representative in my college. On one festive occasion I have to make 100 cards, I think. At that time I did not have that commanding voice to delegate work to my friends. So, at night I sat and was making cards. One of my batchmates came, and she asked me, "Do you need help?" I said yes. Within a couple of hours, almost every creative person was in my room. I had super great ideas to make the cards, but I did not have time to complete them all alone. Their help made me bring those ideas to work. My perspective on life and help changed with this incident.

I searched this topic in research papers and found a few good ones. One research paper said this:

"Seeking support is the communication process used by individuals to elicit supportive actions from their social network." (Wang, Ning, & Mao, 2023)

Moving further in another research paper, it is found that supportive communication has generally studied things on sending supportive messages. Recent evaluation showed that supportive interaction and outcomes are sustainably dependent on support seekers. In other words, support seekers are no longer passive participants; rather, they are the active producers of the message provider's product.

Even though it is so important and we all know it helps a lot in improving our well-being, still we are reluctant to ask for help. Why? In one of the research papers, they tried to study whether asking for help makes them vulnerable, and hence they refrain. In my case, yes, I refrain from asking for help because I don't want to show them that I am weak and need help. I will be covering this vulnerability in detail in my next post. In this struggle I am overworked and exhausted. It is okay to seek help and get your strength. Further, when we ask for help from the other person, especially in a relationship, the partner feels valued and important. This feeling brings closeness in relationships.

Today, 8 May, 2025, I found this, which aptly explains why this is so important.

https://www.linkedin.com/feed/?highlightedUpdateType=SHARED_BY_YOUR_PAGE&highlightedUpdateUrn=urn%3Ali%3Aactivity%3A7325852454162505729

A- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/acceptance-of-self.html?zx=af3c2e13bf8aa3d6

B- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/boundaries-to-set.html

C- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/compassion-on-yourself.html

D- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/discovering-oneself.html

F- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/forgiving-yourself.html

G- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/grains-of-gratitude.html

H- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/human-experiences-common-to-all.html

I- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/intuitive-guidance.html

K- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/kindness-to-self.html

L- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/l-factor.html