X-Factor reveal

This week I have talked to you about our basic needs (the L-factor), and then I talked to you about no shortcuts while discussing organizing the important over the urgent (quadrant II).

Now the question arises, how is this L-factor related to shortcuts, and what does this X-factor have to do with it? Isn't this rumbling in your head?

To help you understand this better, let me set up a quick scenario. Amit said, "You are a son of a bitch." Rehan slapped Amit. So, the above scene looks like this.

It seems that Amit provided the acting event or adversity (in other terms, provided the stimulus). Now this stimulus made Rehan angry, and he slapped (consequence, i.e., emotional and behavioral outcomes; response). It seems that there was a stimulus that made the consequence or response occur. Psychologist Albert Ellis simplified it more. He gave the ABC theory. In this theory

A- Acting event or Adversity

B- Belief (thoughts, interpretations, or self-talk)

C- Consequences (behavioral and emotional responses/outcomes).

When an acting event triggers our senses, our senses search our knowledge box for similar experiences and our beliefs and interpretations we have made about it. This belief system decides what behavioral and emotional response we will be giving.

Our basic needs, the L-factor, are our stimulus. It creates imbalance in ourselves, compelling us to give a response. In order to choose the response, we enter into B—our interpretations of the stimulus based on our previous experiences or teachings given to us, the self-talk we have with ourselves about the response, and the beliefs we hold about the response ultimately lead us to choose our response. So B is the ultimate decider.

Now, within ourselves, we have a real self and an ideal self. The ideal self is how you want to be, and the real self is how you are now (your self-image). If your real self has many similarities with your ideal self, your self-esteem is high, or vice versa.

We all have an image of ourselves in our minds, which is the collection of all the best qualities that we want to see in ourselves. This is our perfect ideal self. This ideal self is an imaginative figure of self. Now, how we behave with others and how I approach life and deal with problems is the real self, i.e., one who is really living the life is the real self or self-concept. Now this real self may or may not be the same as the ideal self. Just like the figure on the left shows a large gap between the real self and the ideal self, in such situations our self-esteem is negatively affected. Thus, we see what people say about us, and we start believing them. This is where urgency addiction creeps in because we want to meet others criteria, not mine.

On the other side, examine the figure to your right. It shows almost overlapping circles. This means that the way you have imagined yourself is almost similar to the one you live as. This is possible only when you have these capabilities within yourself :

a) Self-awareness: When you know your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. You know what you are doing and why you are doing it. All these posts are meant to make you aware of yourself a little more.

b) Conscience : It is part of our personality which acts as a compass to guide us for the right and the wrong and keeps me from blindly acting upon my basic urges.

c) Creative imagination : To have creative imagination, you need to be imaginative, which has the tinge of creativity as well. Imagination alone does not create harmony, whereas when creativity is added to it, it becomes lively and explicitly nurtured.

d) Independent will : In order to understand this, I searched the literature and found this book, Willpower. They have named this the greatest human strength. They have found that major problems of life, be they social or physical, are due to lack of self-control. They showed that self-control makes us more reliable towards our work and more dedicated also. It makes us self-determined and self-regulated, and it has the power to transform us. This self-control or independent will (the will to act rather than be acted upon) happens when we have activated our self-awareness, conscience, and creative imagination.

When we operate under the guidance of these four capabilities, we have ultimate human freedom—that freedom that allows us to choose, to respond, and to change. They create our internal compass that aligns our lives with the true north.

Now that I have covered almost everything in prioritizing ourselves, I will focus on self-care, which is also an integral part of self-love.

A- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/acceptance-of-self.html?zx=af3c2e13bf8aa3d6

B- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/boundaries-to-set.html

C- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/compassion-on-yourself.html

D- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/discovering-oneself.html

F- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/forgiving-yourself.html

G- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/grains-of-gratitude.html

H- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/human-experiences-common-to-all.html

K- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/kindness-to-self.html

L- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/l-factor.html

M- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/mindfulness-for-self-compassion.html

N- https://water-1droplet.blogspot.com/2025/04/no-that-needs-your-attention.html