Power of pain

By watedroplet

                                                            Image Credit: Andy on pixabay

Carrying you back to my previous post on "How do you see the pain experience?" I learned to see pain as a learning experience to make better decisions. This landed me on a page that teaches us how to handle our pain for better results. This post is to draw the power from the pains we are suffering. 

1) Surrender

The pain has the power to break us to the extent that we feel crippled. How do we see this crippling experience? Does it hurt our ego? or does it unite us with our true friends who are always there with us when we need them ( unity). Pain reminds us that we are not complete in our own selves rather we need help to complete ourselves. It teaches us to give due consideration to this recessive part of ourselves by surrendering and taking help. So, I see these surrendering moments as liberating moments when we give collaboration an upper hand that holds our ego high up. I think these words convey my meaning the most.

"Pain is a catalyst for personal and spiritual growth."

                                                                Kristina Todorova, Founder of coaching for transformers

Pain is actually good because

"It is through experiencing pain that we develop greater self-awareness, and become better equipped to handle emotionally challenging situations in the future." 

                                                              Kristina Todorova, Founder of coaching for transformers

If you are a self-accomplished person, dependent on yourself, this seems an impossible thing. For me mastering this was the greatest challenge. It took me years to learn to let go of and accept help, at times when I needed it. 

2) Mindset

Writing this post made me took me to Mark Sephton's post "Life lessons: When you hurt the most, you grow the most." This was what was running in my head but that is not all. When I started reading his post I came across Ashley Bendiksen. She had suffered a lot in relationships but she transformed her rock bottom into an opportunity and today she is an international speaker, an activist, and an abuse prevention expert. In her interview, she says that when she was devastated, broken, and left with nothing. Here, she talked about the mindset she took. She says, "her this nothing left state" as a blank slate in which she had to write what she wanted. She used this pain as fuel to write a new beginning. Instead of self-victimizing as "Why only me? Why me?" she chose to say to herself "What am I gaining from this?" Adopting this shift of perspective helped her to have a mindset that sees her as successful and accomplishing and she became a valedictorian graduate, an international speaker and an activist. 

3) Love yourself

All that I have discussed above will only happen if we love ourselves because self-sabotage is the common drill in pain or we consider this act as a selfish act. Self-love is a journey deep inside oneself to love the person that I am. It is appreciation, acceptance, and respect we feel for ourselves. When we are in pain we all see these things: feeling depleted, experiencing mental and physical tension, overall decline in mental health, frequent self-critical thoughts, and a tendency to make self-defeating statements. These all are the signs that my self-love needs my attention. Key ways to foster self-love(taken from road-map to self-love)    

Emotions

Thoughts

Behaviour

Savour positive feelings for yourselves: Say good and feel good about yourselves.

Practice compassionate self-talk: Say good things about yourselves.

Practice self-care: Do what makes you happy often. [Guide]

Build self-gratitude: Be thankful for who and what you are.

Don’t believe everything you think: When self-sabotaging talks, you don’t need to believe them.

Put yourself first. Know your needs and wants.

Practice self-forgiveness: Learn to forgive yourself for various things.

Say ‘NO’ to comparison with others: You are the unique you; no need to compare. 

Treat your whole self: Attend to your mental, physical, spiritual, and intellectual needs.



Ask for help: Take help when needed. 


There are many more things to pain as our power. Find it here. I will close my post with this quote:
"Pain. Humans avoid it, if possible. Yet, pain offers lessons, such as how to reduce the amount of it you experience." 

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