A light in the darkness

  When I thought about this topic, I was drawn to our office talks. When someone behaves weirdly to us, we talk about it with our friends and close colleagues and find out their experiences. If they say, "Yes, I have also experienced the same weird feelings." We gather the commons and justify that we are not alone in this experience. This gives us the strength to face those weird people and give sound service to our organizations.  When we find something awkward in our own selves, what do we do? We keep it inside and hide it, thinking, "What will people think?" We forget the above principle. If we can find commons among friends and colleagues for our co-worker's weirdness, why not find commons for our shortcomings and failures? Dr. Neff (author of Self-Compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself ) quotes Tara Brach's (author of Radical Acceptance ) words as, “Feeling unworthy goes hand in hand with feeling separate from others, separate from life....

  In my previous post I had been talking about self-compassion. The formula Dr Kristin Neff has given is Self-Compassion = Self-Kindness + Human connection + Mindfulness Now, compassion means sympathetic consciousness of other's distress together with a desire to alleviate it. (taken from  https://www.merriam-webster.com/ ). So, self-compassion means sympathetic consciousness of one's own distress together with a desire to alleviate it.  Kindness means the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. (taken from oxford languages dictionary .) This means that in order to be sympathetically conscious about one's own distress, I need to be friendly, generous, and considerate to myself. Three questions arises here a) How can I be friendly to myself? b) How can I be generous to myself? c) How can I be considerate to myself? In order to understand this topic, I have referred to these study materials. a) Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself b...

In my last post I talked about accepting ourselves as we are. This brought me to a place called transparency. "Am I transparent to myself?" Can I say, "I am the same from the back as I am from the front"? This took me years to answer because I was never the same. I still remember those days when I would smile and talk to people and speak rubbish behind their back. This was the aftermath of what I received from others. I could sense this quite early before it was uncontrollable. I never wanted to be bad like this, but I became. My heart started to hate myself because this was not what I wanted to be. At this moment, my inner voice said to analyze what went wrong rather than to blame and hate yourself. Every time I would try to do good, the badness I received from others stood before me, and I pulled back.  These incidences flew me to all those people who did me wrong, and I was madly angry at them. They never asked me sorry. I was able to forgive them because I made ...

  Self-acceptance , a well-known terminology, yet unknown as always. I remember my old days when I just started my job and there was a situation where the authorities asked, "Who did this?" An instant answer on my mouth was, "I don't know." That mistake was done by me, but my brain immediately forgot all that, and my mouth had an instant no ready. Later on when I revisited this situation and analyzed my role, I realized that I was unable to accept my mistake and took the help of a lie to hide myself.  I was able to realize this because before this situation I had practiced a lot to accept the reality as it comes. I had learned that we all are not perfect and we all can make mistakes. I had experienced before the extra energy that I needed to accept the reality as it is. This practice was one of the reasons that made me feel guilty about saying a lie.  I brought this so that we all can realize that self-acceptance is not an automatic or default setting. It is eas...