A light in the darkness

I still remember my first journey on a plane. I traveled by train from Chandigarh to Kolkata. Then, from there, I reached Dum-Dum airport. All these events gave me goosebumps because I was anxious about how I would do them all for the first time. I had never been to the airport that time. Thinking about doing something for the first time sent currents of nervousness all through my body.  We all have met this friend called anxiety, or let me put it up as nervousness. It means an apprehensive uneasiness or nervousness, usually over an impending or anticipated illness. It is a normal response to a stressful situation. Anxiety is not always bad. A little bit of stress that makes you anxious is inevitable, but that is a good thing. This healthy anxiety pushes you to accomplish your goals and meet the challenges of daily life. This anxiety introduces you to the fears that want to pull you down. Here I will quote Emma Stone's thoughts on anxiety: "Anxiety is something that is part of

I have discussed with you all our means of using addiction as a way of hiding from our inner selves. There, I mentioned the other three agents: ambition, arrogance, and anxiety. In this post, I will connect dreams to ambitions and how they act as a hiding niche for me and you.  Let me start this discussion by distinguishing between dream and ambition. Dreams, as defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary, are a strongly desired goal or purpose. So we dream to become something; we dream to achieve a goal; we dream to be big. This is the first stage of creativity or achievement. A dream alone cannot become real. We need to take intentional actions in the direction of fulfilling our dreams, and then only we can see it happen. Terri Kozlowaski sums it up like this: Dream +  Ambition  = Reality There is no harm in dreaming big. In fact, sometimes we should dream big to achieve big. The real game begins when we choose the kind of ambition to achieve it. Bandura (1993) , a Canadian-American ps

Though the book considers complacency and certainness with the same angle as I was exploring to write this topic, a new insight struck my mind. I will incorporate my insight with the knowledge I gained from the book. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines complacency as self-satisfaction, especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies. To be satisfied is a good and healthy sign, but to choose self-satisfaction over growth is not at all worthy. So, I called this kind of complacency cunning, i.e., full of deceit and craftiness. I am poor, and I earn less. In this situation, being satisfied with rice, dal, and potatoes is a healthy and good sign. Now, this poor person says to herself, I can earn no more than this, so let me settle with this begging and live forever in poverty. Our lazy spirit is demonizing us to fix at this begging only. Such complacencies do not allow us to explore our real selves; rather, they say we are good where we are. I will cite the e

This topic is of great interest to me, and I am very good at it.  I'll start with the quote the author referenced, as it prompted me to revisit a crucial aspect of my life, leading me to recognize my tendency towards incessant busyness. The author began this chapter on busyness with these words: "Staying on the treadmill means we avoid pausing long enough to face the truth about why we’re running so hard." We all do this. Isn't it? When we encounter an unwanted colleague, we turn our backs and continue doing the thing we were doing without noticing him or her. I was traveling on a train when I happened to see an uncle of mine with whom I did not want to talk, so I pretended to sleep. Another amusing instance of my busyness was when I'd tell people that I had crucial tasks to attend to, which were interrupted because they called me. Instead, I could have simply smiled, excused myself, and explored the various places available to me.Instead

 Today, I will be sharing with you our second hiding place. It is an addition. Author Hugh Mackay opens his hiding niche with these words: "When habits become addictive, they distract us from our inner life." These words appeared very simple, yet something drew me towards them. Though I have explored the habit segment in various ways for a long time, I still wanted to discover something new or unusual about it.Therefore, I sought out quotes regarding the subject as well as information on habits in psychology. I will begin with the  quote : “Habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it each day, and at last we cannot break it.” Horace Mann Indeed, our habits are like cables that we weave and later fail to break. In simple terms, they are repeated behaviors. Like the two sides of the coin, this habit also has two faces. One perspective indicates that it occurs within the same physical and social setting consistently, rendering it more stable. On the other hand, its repeatedl

From this post onwards each day I will be sharing 20 ways we use to  hide from our inner selves. This is first one.  I love driving, and that energizes me. While driving, I often use the rearview mirror to see the vehicles behind and be safe on the road, but viewing the rearview mirror is only for a fraction of seconds. This is because looking back would be fatal, whereas looking forward would prevent it.  We utilize rearview mirrors for the sake of safety. Similarly, our lives are our past. The past is something we have already lived. We can do nothing about it to change it, but yes, we can learn a lot from it and safeguard our future.    Now nostalgia has claimed the title, steering my conversation towards the past, yet it acts as a barrier, disconnecting me from my inner self.   Our inner selves are always growing and evolving over time. I mistreated someone, and I learned the lesson and corrected myself. This makes me a new me. I indulged in prosocial behavior and experienced

 Ladies, put on your shoes; it's time to face the rows. Once I went to a marriage reception party, and I saw a very beautiful, fair, glowing bride. My heart fell for her glow. In the course of time, I moved out of the city for my studies. On one of my leaves, I happened to meet this bride again. I asked my mom, "Who is she?" and she replied, 'Wife of Mr. X?' Stunned, I stood there. The bride I saw was beautiful, fair, and glowing. This lady had a dark complexion that was no match for the beauty I saw on the day of reception. Practically speaking, I met two people, though both of them reside in the same body. This is the power of makeup, which transforms our outer selves exclusively.  We all do these make-ups almost every day in order to hide our  inner selves.   We all love to live in this fallacy because we fear facing the truth about ourselves. Humanistic therapist Carl Roger describes this situation in his book "On Becoming a Person" as a threateni