A light in the darkness

As we have reached the end, I now need to wrap up my stuff to make my A to Z look like an organized pile. I was thinking about what to write for this letter. Since my theme was self-love and I have now focused on one segment of self-love, i.e., self-care, I think this topic needs to be attended to here.  I have been talking so much about what is important and then prioritizing myself; these all draw to one point, and that is sleep. I had been a very good sleeper in my early years. Ask me to sleep in class, ask me to sleep in the night, ask me to sleep in the day—all times it was possible for me without regret. Climbing the ladder of advancing years, I found that my sleep was getting lesser and lesser. Yes, hormonal changes are the reason, but the need for sleep remains there. So, I thought to include this in my journey. I read two books in this context. One is "Why can't we sleep?"   Darian's narration reminded me of a famous concept from health psychology: either you...

  I never thought that exploring self-care would bring me this far. In my last post, a sensational strand of support brought me to the post,  why it's so hard to ask for help . This sent my brain to work as to why we don't take help when it is available. Jameson's research on the impact of gratitude and self-compassion on asking behavior was something related to my search. In his research paper, he proposed that we do not ask for help because we will have to become vulnerable. Mike Robbins also has similar views, where he says that when we ask for help, we present ourselves as weak. Secondly, he also says that when we ask for help, we also come into the zone of hearing no or being rejected. Further, when we seek help, we have to open some of our own details to the other person, which we do not want to do. Vulnerability is equal to death. Yes, when we have to open ourselves, we feel it is near impossible because that is what we have been trying to hide all these days. Vuln...

  When I started talking about taking time for yourself in my previous, I thought they would also advise all routines of meditation, exercise, rest, etc. The book began with a story in the book Gratitude Jar.   Mrs. X was having two kids. One was 4 years old, and the other one was 9 months old. Her husband was the breadwinner, and she was the homemaker. All day she would look after the house and do every chore and eagerly wait for her husband to come back so that she could sneak into the kitchen and have her daily doses of booze. This has totally sent her off track, and now she feels that she needs to fix this. This kind of life is not what she wanted.  She was lucky enough to find a coach. Even before the coach dives into her self-care, she asks her to take help from her husband when possible; that was the turning point.  A few years back I attended the conference of Michael Unger on Resilience. In his course, he also emphasized social support. He had us draw a map ...

When I started to write about taking my downtime, I realized I am not interested in the well-planned self-care that every other person is talking about in the market. I myself have tried them many a time but often gave up in between. I don't want something like that to happen this time. So, I was searching for one thing that makes the difference and makes my self-care my personal stuff, unique and made for me only types.  This is the place where intuitive guidance works. I happened to refer to two books to understand this topic better, and both have contributed a lot in making this topic even more meaningful.  In this fast-paced life, we often find ourselves racing and forgetting ourselves. This is the point to have a heart-based awareness, or heart intelligence, which is the key to managing our personal and planetary changes in speed.  We have heard these metaphors: "Listen to your heart," "Go to your heart for answers, and Put your heart into it." You must hav...

  After a month-long journey of understanding oneself and prioritizing oneself, I have now reached a state where I need to have some downtime, a place to rest and relax, and time to care for myself.  I found many books that guided me systematically to care for myself. Yeah! It seems very promising and good, but after a while, even though they are very good and meet my requirements, I give up. I don't want this kind of self-care, which I have to start all over again and again.  Reading this book, Take Time for Your Life , introduced me to the very puddle I always find myself in and struggle to find my own life. I still remember my younger days when I used to sincerely journal. These journalings have helped me to pour out my emotions and vent well, and hence, I have much clearer views of my life. Today, I realize how much harm I have done myself by not journaling all these years. I feel I am becoming the same lost and confused me from which I had come out. This reviewing of...

As I was reading the book Real Self-Care, the author quoted various examples. One of them I try to explain in my way. "I feel sorry I spent so much time in the spa when I could have taken care of my family." "I deeply regret not attending to your needs." "How can I relax when there is so much to be done?" I just can't relax." "When I take time for my care, I feel selfish." In my quest to understand what is happening with self-care and help, I happened to meet with some of the harshest realities. Sometimes it seems that I am pushing myself for my self-care and, deep inside, building the base of self-hatred. I started looking into this new and most ignored concept when I started reading the book Real Self-Care . The author showed this with many examples. I got similar things in these two posts about what guilt has to do , and White Hot Truth soothes self-help fatigue as she enlightens it in her book White Hot Truth , which also confirmed ...

  This season of Blogchatter, 2025, I chose to explore self-love, and yes, it has helped me discover some of the most interesting topics, which I would have been otherwise ignorant of, but they are important. In this course I came across the term "self-care." Everywhere you go, you will hear it: self-care yoga, self-care spa, self-care massage, self-care diet, and on and on.... What is this self-care all about? I read somewhere that we should exercise as part of self-care. I was putting on weight, and I started doing exercise, and after a while, when I lost some weight, I stopped. By definition, this is also self-care? I am not very happy with this kind of self-care.  I still remember those days of my life when I had to get up early at 5 am and rush to make meals, and then I had to run to catch the bus so that by 9:30 or 10 am I reached my institute. I worked there with a schedule, and then by six I ran to catch my bus. I used to reach back to my house by 9 at night. People w...