Crisis Care

By watedroplet

 Today I would pause here from passion mindset and craftsman mindset to quarter-life crisis. The topic charms me because this is which we all face and there is no one to guide us at that time. 

What is a quarter-life crisis? It is the throbbing question we pose to our own selves, “What am I doing with my life?”coated with anxiety, self-doubt, and pessimism about our future. We all have heard of mid-life crises. What is the difference between a mid-life crisis and quarter-life crisis? 


Mid-life crisis 


According to (American Psychological Association) APA, a mid-life crisis is the emotional turmoil stage faced by individuals between 35 through 65.  “It is the phase of life transition when he/she starts reflecting on what they have accomplished till date and do they still find satisfaction and purpose in them all,” as quoted by Michael G. Wetter, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist practicing in Los Angeles. If this reflection causes them to feel that they have not done enough to meet the purpose of their lives, they might all of a sudden choose to change jobs, commitment to relationships, and hobby explorations too, so that their later half of the life will find a better meaning and accomplishment. This is the negative effect of the mid-life crisis. However, these changes may not always be negative. These changes may also be positive like more concentrated efforts, more devotion towards the family, less workaholic, and more self-healing. 

What happens all of a sudden that one enters into a mid-life crisis? 

A mid-life crisis is triggered by major factors like divorce, loss of someone near to us, slowly sinking to ennui, or a significant life event which causes a conflict between the person’s identity and their purpose in life. 

A researcher called Tamir(1989) says that mid-life must be the first time a man sits back to reflect upon himself. This must be the first time he is measuring his own achievements on a scale he has created when he was young. So, reflecting on self and reviewing where do they stand will be stressful for someone who was self-contained till now. 

Further, he assumes that women, by nature, are self-reflective, so they don’t face so much of hassles as they transition from young adulthood to mid-life. 

How to know we are having a mid-life crisis: Every individual behaves differently when they come in this stage.Some have less outward signs but inside they question what to do? While others turn towards coping strategies that tolls their health, finance, or/and relationships. So, now let us try to explore some of the common signs and symptoms:

  1. Anxiety

  2. Sudden change of career or lifestyle for example, leaving a job or shifting homes

  3. Behavioral changes like becoming antisocial, impulsive or irrational

  4. They are in chronic reminiscence and reflection stage focussing on youthful memories, former lovers, past adventures, or those days when they had less responsibilities.

  5. Depression or major mood shifts

  6. Dishonor to romantic relationships (avoidance, cheating, marital infidelity etc.)

  7. There is drastic change in appearance, behavior, or self-care

  8. Always find them in the state of indecisiveness

  9. They always find them filled with the feelings of anger, boredom, & emptiness. They constantly find themselves irritated. The feeling of loss of purpose haunts them and nostalgic feelings makes them crippled. 

  10. Financial irrationality is seen among them, sometimes manifested as excessive spending.

  11. You will also find them filled with hypochondria where they always exaggerate their health concerns which becomes unmanageable.

  12. They take steps to plan those travels or investments, that may not have previously been possible because of family, work or financial constraints

  13. You may also see them making religious or spiritual transitions like getting more involved into religious practices, conversions, or may be starting a new trend in that field.

  14. You will also find them often ruminating over their past failures and mistakes. 

  15. With this much thinking and anxiety they often complain of sleep disruption.

  16. They also witness either weight gain or loss.

  17. Above all you will find them withdrawing from their daily routine.


Signs of ending the mid-life crisis: Studies show that as we grow older our happiness level goes down and our positivity levels rise which is given by a u-shaped curve. We can use this concept to understand when our mid-life crisis is ending. As we near the end of our mid-life crisis, we witness increased satisfaction with self and more optimism towards the future. 


This mid-life topic had been a little bit deviant from my original topic. So good they chose to notice you but it is essential to understand its topics. Now, I will tell you all the ways to deal with it. There are many ways of doing this I will discuss what I choose


i) Finding a hobby for yourself and trying to invest in it. Hobby is something that you do for your own self and it brings great joy and satisfaction. Amidst the turmoil of mid-life when you take time for yourself, you heal yourself and you create more positivity around yourself. 

ii) Involve in physical activity: As you involve yourself in more physical activities, you release endorphins which alleviates your mood. Furthermore, your sweat flows off the clinching and worrying soul. 

iii) Share your feelings: Generally as you grow old, your friends and family also reduce. In such situations try to have at least one person who listens to you.When you vent out, you get more clarity of your life. 

iv) Reprogram yourself: Try to erase all what has happened and try to write something you always wanted and you're always laboured on. Don’t dwell on the past and restrict yourself, increase your horizon.


References: 

  1. Freund, A. M., & Ritter, J. O. (2009). Midlife crisis: A debate. Gerontology, 55(5), 582-591.

  2. Tamir LM: Modern myths about men at midlife: an assessment; in Hunter S, Sundel M (eds): Midlife Myths: Issues, Findings, and Practice Implications. Thousand Oaks, Sage Publications, 1989, pp 157–179. 


Quarter-life crisis


Similar to mid-life crisis is quarter-life crisis. Yeah! Now I think life is full of questioning only. So when an individual starts to question their choices in their mid-twenties and early thirties filled with doubts and uncertainties of newbies and just thinking of entering the workforce, is when they face a quarter-life crisis. This term was first coined by Erik H Erikson in 1969 to show one of the eight dilemmas one faces during their lives. 


Common Signs and symptoms:

  1. Filled with purposelessness

  2. They face Identity crisis

  3. They are overstressed with Job uncertainty- have they chosen the correct career, or wasted time.

  4. They are also caught up with relationship stress as they seek life partners and good friendships.

  5. FOMO: Fear of missing out experiences and achievements your peers are having

  6. Indecision: In this stage they have difficulty trusting their intuitions.

  7. Isolation: These all stresses make them run away from everyone and hide themselves.

  8. Languishing

What makes quarter-life crisis the real challenges are: 


  1. Job dissatisfaction: This is the biggest cause. Life in school and colleges are well protected and safe with no accountability. The job area is totally different. All of a sudden he/she becomes accountable for everything. As a college student every student has big dreams and they all want it at the earliest but the truth is that it takes time to materialize. 

  2. Relationship problems: This phase is also marked with romantic relationships but the pathway is not easy. There might be times when the relationship is not smooth and causes much stress.

  3. Financial problems: They get new jobs and incomes. All of a sudden they spend a lot and on top of that they also get involved in taking new homes or things on EMI for which they have to pay loans. 

  4. Social pressure and expectations: 

  5. New responsibilities: Many people in this group enter into committed relationships, have children and juggling with social commitments. 


Coping strategies: 


  1. Taking time to reflect about self: Take time to journaling, spending alone time with self, visualization, and getting feedback. 

  2. Let go of the expectations: Stop using should, ought, and must in your sentences which put much pressure on yourself. 

  3. It is ok to know not everything and ready to change when not satisfied: Our lives are uncertain and we don’t know everything. So, we need to accept our mistakes and make changes. 

  4. Always be receptive for support that is needed at this hour: Reach out to families and friends, talk to mentors, seek help from counselors, or join support groups to go through this life. 



https://www.verywellmind.com/surviving-your-quarter-life-crisis-7642328

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