Why letting go is difficult?

By watedroplet

For a fortnight, I have been talking about how letting go benefits us. Still, we all feel the resistance to do. When the thing is good, why is there resistance? Letting go leads our emotions to a better world where emotions no longer need to be the leader. Now the question arises: how do our emotions become the leaders? It is the ego that wants to hold on and doesn't allow letting go to happen. It keeps flaring our emotions so that we don't let go and keep feeding the needs of our ego either by venting in the wrong way or acting out impulsively and aggressively. This ego makes us forget to surrender often or try for frequent escapism, which is no way helpful in dealing with such situations. 

The more you resist, the more you desire, so don't resist this resistance that is arising. Don't use distractions from this resistance or force yourself to let go. It is not going to work. Just let the resistance be there, and you will be aware that your ego is not allowing you to let go. Instead of fighting with the resistance of ego, explore what fear you have behind your resistance. What are you fearing to lose that you don't want to let go? Are you ready to let go of this fear?

Know your fear. Why did you develop your fear? Are you ready to let go of your fear? If not, what is stopping you from letting go of your fear? What will happen if you do let it go? Will your loss be more than the peace you are searching for? You have to reach this stage where you can see the loss of losing your fear is no longer bigger than your peace of mind. This stage will allow you to let go of your fear and ultimately your resistance. Now, there would be so many fears housed within you over years. You have to explore them all one by one. Deal with them one by one and finally let it go. Once all your fears are resolved, your resistance will also dissolve, and you will feel free and light.

When you are finding your fears and dealing with them, your ego gets the message that it's life is in danger, and it tries every trick to save its life. Ego says that surrender is not working; things are still in progress. Nothing is working; leave it. These are lies. Just focus on the existing fear you are facing. Why did you start having this fear? What can you do to end this fear? Can you manage on your own, or do you need some help?

In my situation (my work was frequently missed out), I felt angry. Why was I angry? This was because I felt some people were troubling me and forcing me to talk, and I don't like this. The situation was different, but my inbuilt fear ran in a different direction. It did not take me much time to understand this fear because I have been studying myself every day. I knew my old fear was trying to come back. I worked on it and gave proof to myself that this is not the case. This missing out could be completely coincidental. Secondly, I was never resistant to talking to anybody, and if I am still not, then why to fear? What will I lose if I talk also? Nothing; it is only going to do good. In this way, I surrendered my fear, and within no time I realized that I don't need to control the external forces who might be trying to talk to me. I just kept receiving the guiding lights from the universe.

Thoughts are very powerful. We all think, isn't it? So, escaping from thoughts is not possible, and if we say we don't think, then it is purely a lie. These thoughts are nothing but the images our mind has made, which prevents us from experiencing what we really are. These thoughts are not true but just make-belief ones that blur the truth. In this way, our thoughts bring hinderances in our letting go process. So, it is always wise to analyze some common beliefs we hold and let them go off first and feel resistance-free. These common beliefs could be:

a) I only deserve things through hard work, struggle, sacrifice, and efforts

b) Suffering is beneficial and good for me

c) I don't get anything without effort or cost.

d) I don't value things that come too easily to me.

This is not true always. So, we should let go of these thoughts and receive whatever the universe is presenting to us.


This post is a part of Write a Page a Day at www.theblogchatter.com 


Comments

Post a Comment

Posts most loved

Pedantic Perfectionism

By watedroplet
Image
When I wrote this topic today, everything talked about imperfection. This mental battle between perfectionism and imperfectionism made me understand that we are at the wrong end. Let me clarify what I really mean by this. When you go to school, does your teacher expect you to master everything on day one? The answer is no. For this reason only, assessments are towards the end of the term. I remember my brother and sister joining the drawing class. They are good artists because they have worked on it for ages, and I never did, so I am still imperfect in it.  I still remember the days when I went to do machine embroidery. My teacher first said to make straight, concentric circles without stopping. The first day was, oh! Nothing was going well. Not even one line was straight. This is where we all are. We begin with imperfection. We were three people there, learning. All were my senior madams, and I was the junior most. We all practiced every alternate day. After a few days, my circl...
Read more

Mesmerizing Materialism

By watedroplet
When I thought of writing about the game of materialism that plays in our lives, I was immediately drawn to one of the English stories I read, ' The umbrella man ' by Roald Dhal. For all who have forgotten this story, I will give a quick recap. This story talks about a girl and her mother who visited a dentist. While they were returning, it was raining, and they were waiting for a cab when they were approached by an old man. This man asked for a favor by requesting $20 as a taxi fare in lieu of the silk umbrella he had. The mother was usually suspicious of strangers. So she used her first golden rule: "The nicer the man seems to be, the more suspicious you must become." This old man was really nice because he was polite, well-spoken, and well-dressed. He was really a gentle man. She knew this because her mother used her second golden rule to access it: "You can always spot a gentleman by the shoes he wears." (This is the reason I picked this story.) The stor...
Read more

Zest O! Zest! Why do you fade in discovering your inner self?

By watedroplet
 Ladies, put on your shoes; it's time to face the rows. Once I went to a marriage reception party, and I saw a very beautiful, fair, glowing bride. My heart fell for her glow. In the course of time, I moved out of the city for my studies. On one of my leaves, I happened to meet this bride again. I asked my mom, "Who is she?" and she replied, 'Wife of Mr. X?' Stunned, I stood there. The bride I saw was beautiful, fair, and glowing. This lady had a dark complexion that was no match for the beauty I saw on the day of reception. Practically speaking, I met two people, though both of them reside in the same body. This is the power of makeup, which transforms our outer selves exclusively.  We all do these make-ups almost every day in order to hide our  inner selves.   We all love to live in this fallacy because we fear facing the truth about ourselves. Humanistic therapist Carl Roger describes this situation in his book "On Becoming a Person" as a threateni...
Read more