Psychological distancing

By watedroplet

After executing the magical wand of control, the second tool for letting go is psychological distancing, often referred to as self-distancing. I always fall into this trap, and I have to take help from psychological distancing or else I might go destructive. 

I remember when my sister was very angry and just wanted to bash things as she was pouring. I will give her this analogy: When I am in the marshy pit, I keep flapping my hands and legs in the hope of coming out, but nothing happens. The more I try, the more I get stuck in the marsh. On the other hand, a man standing outside can see my pathetic condition. He is the only one who can search for ropes and throw them to me so that I can be pulled out. 

When I am damn angry, I just want to execute all crooked plans to win and only win. In this quest, I hurt many people, cheat many, and, above all, did not care about others' feelings. My fights could be so bad that we can never restore our relationships. Since I know myself, I have to step back and think, What will I gain if I win? Nothings. Then why am I fighting? Such distancing from the event is necessary to gain a rightful perspective and empowers us to make wise decisions. I have done it myself in major stressful events, and I have found that this has helped me a lot in safeguarding my image and reputation.

Giesbrecht, Müller, & Miller (2010) described psychological distancing as our ability to step back without giving an immediate response, examine its environment, and thus reflect on the course of action. In other words, it means creating space between yourself and the event so that you can see the bigger picture. 

Psychological distancing is not a process that evolves over time; rather, it is a technique we can use in response to a particular situation or event. By applying it, we gain these perspectives

1) Gaining perspective

With the creation of this space, I can see the bigger picture, which is beyond me. I am no longer self-centered, but now I can think beyond my selfish desires and egos. 

2) Appropriate response

By creating space, I get time to evaluate various perspectives and then choose the best suited response. In other words, I get time to understand the depth of the situation and then respond. 

3) Creativity boost

Creating space gives me time to think innovatively and differently. Now, I can give a chance to novelty and see if things go better. 

Psychological distancing prevents me from being reactive and makes me responsive. Reactivity kills, and responsivity builds. In the next post, I will talk about various techniques I can use to psychologically distance myself. 

This post is a part of Write a Page a Day at www.theblogchatter.com 

Comments

  1. Tomichan Matheikal7 February 2025 at 17:56

    Winning an argument is losing a relationship. When I win, what do I gain? You answer it right: nothing.

    ReplyDelete

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