When all do we face these unjust pain

These unjust pains can be felt in many ways. I will channel them under a few headings.

 

a) Some people think that we deserve to be hurt.

 

Sometimes people hurt us on purpose. They want us to feel the pain because they think we deserve to be hurt. Life has bitter and sweet ways to make you realise this. I happened to take this lesson the hard way. I was very outspoken in many ways. One such incident brought serious confrontation to one of my seniors. This sent a fire of rage among all the seniors, as I was the youngest person in the unit. They started to boycott me because they thought I deserved it. Since it was enacted in disguise, I was unaware. I trusted everyone and used to ask for help from them, and they used to mislead me. One such incidence brought me to a situation where I was on unknown streets searching, and they all just said to ask the other person. That was the day I realised that there is no one but yourself to fight for you. I trusted that person so much, but that person backbit me.

Sometimes our anger and anguish are so blinding that we forget to distinguish right from wrong. The same thing had happened to my colleagues. In their quest to safeguard their position, they forgot what human and inhuman practices were. The hurt is so great that when I revisit those events, my soul cries. Did I really deserve those treatments? My heart still seeks to find an answer, but I have none. Now, I am only thankful that nothing untoward happened for which I would have to repent for my whole life. Thank God for his protection.

Indeed, sometimes hurt could be this mean and this bad. You know, the hurt in this section can go to any limit because the person inflicting it means to make us feel the pain. When I think of this incident, my mind imagines all the evils I could have witnessed that night on the streets of Chennai all alone. My soul cries, even thinking of that day. Did I deserve that? Then why me? I have no answer to this date, but that hurt still aches.

 

b) Sometimes people hurt us because they are insecure.

 

Insecurity is the biggest reason for the birth of all evil. We happen to do many unwanted things, all to safeguard our insecurities, which might otherwise cause us to be vulnerable.

I am reminded of another incidence wherein the personality of person A was very strong and appealing while the personality of person B was medium-cure. Now, person A was free and happy because she knew she could achieve what she wanted, while person B got jealous of person A and her achievements. She saw her as the closest contender to all the person B could acquire as her own. This fear and insecurity made her spoil the name of person A in all ways. Person A was deeply affected by person B's personal attack, impacting every aspect of her life, not just one domain.

 

c) Sometimes people hurt us because they themselves are hurt.

 

The soreness of the pain is unbearable and excruciating. When we are hurt, we get engrossed in it, completely blurring our vision as well as our thoughts. When we are hurt, we do not know how to soothe ourselves, and the frustration of our hurt gets projected over to others. Projection is the defence mechanism we use to cope with the pain we are bearing from our own hurt. I still remember when my soul had no answer to the wrongdoing I happened to witness in my life. I was getting bitterer and bitterer from the inside, but I did not know why it was happening. My words unknowingly hurt others, but I felt they deserved that. At times, your inner peace is a necessity for you to behave sensibly and wisely. This inner peace can only come when we resolve our inner hurts and come to peace with ourselves.

This section reminded me of my duty in the cancer unit. I was stressed due to life's challenges, likely unaware of some, and, during that period, struggled to fully accept reality. This unresolved issue was smouldering within me, and I did not know. I only felt the discomfort of something that was not giving me peace. In that situation, only I kept on working. I was doing a procedure in the ward, and it was not happening properly. This cancer patient happened to come to me to encourage me, and I replied to her in a very harsh way, directly alligating her cancer illness to her mistake. So my inner turbulence was projected onto this patient in the form of harsh words. This incidence made me think, Am I really well? Sometimes we hurt because we ourselves are hurt.

d) Sometimes people hurt us even though their intentions were good.

We all know that not everything is in our hands. Sometimes we have to make hard choices. In such a situation, I was once. My cousin sister has to choose between me and my other cousin sister (let me name her A here). The situation was that the boyfriend of A happened to tease her, saying he'd marry me. This simple joke made my life miserable because A became insecure, and she started making me feel bad and spoiling my name in front of other relatives as if I were alluring her boyfriend. My cousin's sister became the messenger of all these words to me. I heard everything, I saw everything, and I bore every insult others inflicted on me. Seeing these things, I decided to separate myself from others. I did this because "what if I never get married? Everyone would keep insulting me that I put an eye on every other person's husband." So, I chose to be away from them all. 

e) Sometimes other people's mistakes hurt us.

This section is the most painful when you have to bear the burden of others's mistakes. I faced this scene too. I was always positive about marriage, but life had other things for me. When I got my job, I thought, "Ah! One level I have crossed; now let me see someone who would be my better half." Just when I decided to focus on my better half, life seemed to snatch it from me. I was never a flirty, time-pass type of girl. I was always serious about marriage and serious relationships. At this moment, an incident happened in my life. I was right in my move, but the people around me were not right. So this right moment turned my life upside down. Now people looked at me with attacking eyes. In this situation, the person for whom I made the mistake showed me to the unit that I was not fit for work because I was involved in affairs with married sailors. This is just not true. The boy involved cried and said that this is not true. No one was hearing him because they wanted me to be ashamed of my unit. This did not stop here. When they were not successful here, they started associating with each communication and moving with each sailor as wrong. When this did not work out, they started associating me with senior male doctors who came on temporary duty to my unit and were good to me. When these words fell on this senior doctor's ears, he was shocked and angry too. When he came on a second temporary duty, he was cautious with me. I would like to thank God for giving me this opportunity. At that time, I was on night duty, and I had a serious patient. When he came, I said, sir, this patient is not well. Could you please examine the child? The duty medical officer also came so that I might not cook up another story. He had to perform another procedure, and in that, our hands happened to touch, and he said, "Now you all will say we misbehave." I understood what he was saying. I took the opportunity and said, "No, sir, we will not say this." From there on, things started improving. I started getting favours from medical officers as well. 

This bad omen was not leaving me even then. All these things were filling me with negativity, and I was unable to peacefully enjoy my professional and personal life. I have to think about a change. When I came back home, I thought things would improve. It got even more worse here. I was happy, but then a person came into our lives. We were happy with him, but later on we came to know that he had another girlfriend and was serious about her. One of my close friends was the one who stated that he would associate me with this person. She was tracking every move of mine with him and giving it an affair look, which was not true. When I knew that he had a girlfriend, I started to move away from him. Yes, this man was doing many things wrong, and my friend was highlighting it everywhere. She thought she was putting his name down. He got married, and I am still single. Now, people whose wishes were shattered because of me have used these things to show the world that I am an immoral woman. The third person saw this as the best moment to put me in such a situation where no one would marry me because I rejected the alliance he brought to me. Things were almost perfect, as he wanted. Every other person was rejecting me. This was the time when God intervened and revealed to me what was happening. Then I realised how I was being hurt because of others's mistakes. I was suffering because others had made mistakes.

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