Symptoms of emotional pain

I generally take good care of myself and try to safeguard myself against any possible hurts, but as you all know, hurts don't come with prior alarm. It just happened, and that makes our lives miserable. Something similar happened with me yesterday. I was otherwise very good, but then there was a quick turn of events, and everything became blurred and gloomy. My whole weekend turned out to be a waste, but that did something very good. This event took me back to introspect and re-explore some of the issues in my life. This will not be part of my online write-up ever. The second were the emotional symptoms. The devastation took place yesterday night, and when I got up today, I realised something was not so well with me. I tried to explore why I was not feeling the way I used to feel all other days and discovered the following symptoms:

A) Social withdrawal and loneliness

The first thing we all do is withdraw ourselves from our friends, families, and loved ones because we see them as hurting us or causing us pain.

There's a frequent apprehension about not gaining acceptance from them. This is the beginning of self-scrutiny, when we do not value what our hearts are telling us. 

Why did this self-withdrawal ever come? It was all because what you thought and what others imposed were not on the same continuum. A similar situation occurred in my life. The person talked uncontrollably, which clashed with my thoughts. I know my thoughts are rigid and old-fashioned, but at the same time, they are meaningful and wise. So, I chose to hold them. The person in front of me should know what they can say and what they cannot. I decided to do this because I wanted to be loud here. I have suffered a lot at the hands of patriarchy, where they have taken it for granted to speak every hell that a lady is supposed to hold, but this is no longer going to work here with me. Yes, they say I will go with anybody and satisfy my needs. Nuns run away with gardeners, etc. As for me, all these incidents make me even more rigid than ever. The more they challenge me, the more harm I am going to do myself to prove to them that they are wrong. This simple notion does not enter their insensitive, idiotic brain. 

B) Self-harm and harmful behaviour

I discussed the unconscious employment of harmful behaviours that I acquired just to defend my rights and my stand, and I know that was not wrong, but the impact from which I suffer is no doubt negative. I agree with Skinner's reinforcement theory, wherein positive reinforcements will increase behaviours and negative reinforcements will reduce behaviours. Whereas punishments, either positive or negative, ruin things. Yes, I know I am passing through a difficult time where I don't have answers to the situation I am in, but that doesn't mean that they have the right to say anything and everything to me. This doesn't give them the licence to just keep on blabbering without understanding. I have given this right to no one, not even myself. 

We all see others problems from our own perspective and then start giving great advice. I think they need a piece of common sense to understand that all yellow things are not gold. I only know the problem that I am facing. It might appear similar to what you are perceiving after listening to me, but not the same. You can give me suggestions but not force me to do things. I think I have a capable brain to analyse these things and bear the consequences of my own decisions. 

So when you listen to someone's painful story, just don't jump to impose your impression on them. Allow them to decide, share, and communicate rather than sharing what is inhuman and out of the world for them. You are not helping them; rather, you are forcing them to harm themselves. 

C) Emotional fatigue

This is the first thing you observe in yourself when emotional pain is troubling you. I also started feeling exhausted and tired of doing things, and even after a night of sleep, I was not fresh because my brain was busy questioning. Why this? Why that? Start working on yourself the moment you experience emotional fatigue. 

In today's incident, I was feeling bad about myself and my existence. 

D) Negative thoughts

Next to emotional fatigue is an attack of negative thoughts. This is the moment when you start doubting yourself. All the faith and base of work that built you are shattered, and you start questioning yourself. I did it wrong. All this happened because I made the wrong move. 

In today's situation, that one incident made me think: Am I made to bear these idiotic treatments all the time? Why me all the time? Did I have the right to live my life my way? 

I know these questions had no point in my life, but they all popped up with just one incident. It took me some time to explore myself and find out why these questions always flashed through my mind. What made them happen? What triggered them?

E) Change in appetite and weight

If we don't take care of the above symptoms, we will see its gruelling effect on our body and how it affects us. We will start losing our appetite or increase it too, and accordingly, we will change in weight. 

Since I took care of this at an early stage, this will not happen.

Self-care is one of the integral elements of showing oneself love. We all need this every day and every moment. Whenever you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel guilty, just give yourself time and analyse the situation from all perspectives. Listen to your inner voice; it never lies. If it is not feeling well, that means there is a cause behind it. Try to find it and resolve it, rather than blaming yourself unnecessarily. Not always you are wrong, and not everything that is right will be right for you. You are the one to decide these things for yourself. So today I shared the symptoms of emotional pain so that we can all explore these elements in our lives and see what is really causing the problem, not the blame game that automatically starts to play. Life is a beautiful gift, and that doesn't mean it has to match with other people's lives or even happen as they think it should. It is my life, and it will always be my way. Learn to stand up for yourselves. 

 

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