Personal pain-1

 So, as I have promised to share about the various dimensions of pain we face, we need the magical wand of forgiveness.

Now, before talking about hurt and pain, I would like to say that hurt is neither less nor more. Hurt is something that crushes us beyond repair. Smedes (1984) categorised it as personal, unjust, and deep. I also do not put it into hierarchy but rather try to understand them with them.

As I was exploring this topic of pain I came across the word "mental pain." I was like ah! For everything we now have started adding mental. This search introduced me to a new understanding of the world of Pain. 

I was once driving, and the drive was long. It was almost 9:30 p.m., and I had not reached my destination. I was anxious and fearful too. I remember I was in all my senses, but something happened at that moment, and my vehicle hit the barricade of the road, and I fell and hurt my knee. It was a sharp pain. This is also a personal pain, but physical. We are not discussing these pains. Hence, I started experiencing mental pain. So, physical pain always finds ways to cause mental pain, but not all mental pain shows up in physical pain. They may remain silent killers by going silent, being preoccupied, etc.

I was once driving, and the drive was long. It was almost 9:30 p.m., and I had not reached my destination. I was anxious and fearful too. I remember I was in all my senses, but something happened at that moment, and my vehicle hit the barricade of the road, and I fell and hurt my knee. It was a sharp pain. This is also a personal pain, but physical. We are not discussing these pains. Hence, I started experiencing mental pain. So, physical pain always finds ways to cause mental pain, but not all mental pain shows up in physical pain. They may remain silent killers by going silent, being preoccupied, etc.

Many words are used in the context of mental pain: perturbation, psychache, psychological pain, emptiness, etc. Mental pain is not easy to define. Many people have tried to define it in their own way. Bakan noted that individuals experience psychological pain when they are separated from their meaningful connection. But that is not all that psychological pain is. Other people, like Sandler, said that it is an emotional state born out of a discrepancy between the real and ideal selves. Baumiester refers to it as an unpleasant state experienced because of high self-awareness of inadequacy. In other words, when your negative thoughts about yourself peak, you experience psychological distress. Yet another is referred to as an acute psychological pain (sudden onset of pain) associated with the feelings of guilt, fear, anguish, angust, panic, loneliness, and helplessness. Shneidman simplified it by saying that they are because of frustrated psychological needs, i.e., when your psychological needs (Ryan said that it is an essential psychological nutrient for an individual's adjustment, integrity, and growth.) of autonomy, competence, and relatedness are not met, you get frustrated, agitated, and ultimately experience psychological pain.

I will add more on personal pain tomorrow, introducing you to the Smedes concept of personal pain.

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