Hurt and love are opposites yet always found together ......

This season, I happened to study peace. As I was looking for peace, I came across forgiveness. When I explored forgiveness, I found many things that I always wanted to remember and follow. So, I started writing this. Today, I happened to see this post; it was enlightening. 

 

Hurt is something we do not want. Love is the essence of life. We all want love in our lives. A little deviation from love makes us land in the land of rejection, hurt, and pain. So, as I was analysing these issues, I found that love and hurt always hive together. A little imbalance, and we are right in the hell of hurt. Further, it is always found that the one we love the most is the one who gets hurt the most. This always happens. Consider, for example, that a husband and wife share a love relationship, yet when a loose word spills, hurt builds. Let us look at the relationships among friends. They can do anything for each other, even safeguard secrets. A mismatch of words, and all is over, and all is over only because the other person was hurt. I was thinking, What on earth does this ever happen? 

Before jumping into the actual topic, let me show you another version of hurt. Now you have a child who is continuously showing misbehavior. You need to correct them. You need to negatively reinforce and correct the behavior. If you don't, you are actually overprotecting your child, which will be troublesome for their later life. So, at times, hurting is good if it is meant for some good purpose. 

Now let us explore what makes people hurt their loved ones, for example, your life partner with whom you share a romantic relationship, a friend who was disturbing to you, etc. 

1) Low empathy

Empathy is a very useful skill. It helps us to experience other situations. In order to be empathetic, we need to have a heart that is ready to connect with others. We need to have an emotional corner that beats for every emotion that is played in front of us. It is like a magnet that readily gets attracted to the emotional play. We all have this corner within ourselves, but this becomes calloused with negative experiences, unjust treatments, and cruelty. As the roots of negativity deepen, the emotional corner starts detaching. 

This is the reason I am discussing forgiveness, the key to opening this calloused heart. We need to focus on ourselves and explore the hurts that are not resolved within us because they are the ones that will detach our emotional corner. Once we are emotionally detached, "I" becomes the wailing voice, and nothing else is as important as "I.". When "I" rule the world, nothing cools, only firewood fuels. This "I" does not allow us to see others pain, their suffering, their incapabilities, etc. Here is the need for self-love so that you can heal your souring wounds and be emotionally available to others who need you. 

I have been in this situation where I have pilled up all my bitterness within. This bitterness made me speak words that were inappropriate and, often times, too harsh. I was thinking about why I have become such an indifferent, strict, and harsh person. For years, I tried to find this answer, but in vain because I was looking for external causes when the cause was within me. It was internal. When I started working on myself and healing myself from all the hurt and bitterness, I started to become a person who is playful, joyful, and full of fun. For years, I was trying to find this, but it only expressed itself when I worked on my forgiveness and healing. 

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