How to be the winner of unfairness

Unfairness is not uncommon in our lives. Not necessarily that it is done intentionally; many times we become egocentric and only see our own perspective and feel hurt by unfairness. 

We are not unaware of the bitterness caused by unfairness and how it spoils our lives. Still, unknowingly, it rules our lives now and then. So, some people have tried to overpower this crippling power. They are no better than those who couldn't override the unfairness. They are not people who simply accept the unfairness and keep walking ignorantly. Rather, they develop these qualities within them to deal with the unfairness presented.

A) Control over emotional response

These people are aware of their moment-to-moment emotions every time. So when an incident triggers their emotional response, they know something has gone wrong and try to understand it rather than allowing it to obsess them and overthink. Instead, they allow this emotional response to express itself, feel it, and end the process there rather than adding obsessive overthinking and ruining all.

B) Stop obsessive thoughts

Once you know your emotions and the overactive thoughts fueling them, you will start working on those thoughts that always draw you to the same old blame-game situation. Stopping these obsessive thoughts is very important because they drain our energy, unnecessarily magnify our emotions, which are not required, and just make us focused on problems, crippling our ability to visualise and work on solutions. 

B) Rationally think

These people just don't act on their emotions, blindly clasped in obsessive thoughts. They make themselves aware of their moment-to-moment emotions only to deal with them and not allow them to uncontrollably rule them. They feel them, understand their importance, and rationally argue their existence. They check their obsessive thoughts and rationally question them. 

When we rationally start to see things, sometimes injustice appears to be less important than other issues. This reminded me of an issue in my life. When I started my job as a nurse, things went wrong, and now everybody sees me as if I know nothing. That was not true; I knew that, but I was treated badly. At that time, focusing on that was not a wise choice. So, I started looking for ways to do things right. 

At other times, injustice wails for justice. We find it difficult to calm this cry. This is the time when we have to control our emotions and think rationally. The injustice I encountered was massive. It shook me completely, and I just wanted to tell everyone that I was right. But this move would be in vain. So, I became quiet. I tried to analyse what was happening around me. Who are my friends and foes? The spiderweb of confusion and misunderstanding was vast. I could not find people who were in my favor. So, I knew this battle was not easy, and I had to fight it all alone. Hence, I became more observant and made moves that would be in my favour with good planning and calmness. When I started doing this, my opponents started saying, "I don't like people who do not share what they are thinking." I knew I was right, and I kept moving ahead despite their comments. 

C) Differentiates between what they control and what they cannot control.

Control is a very beautiful key to everything, yet it is not always useful. Sometimes controls work miracles, like when we have exams and we are put on control to not watch much TV. This move is rewarding. On the other hand, when our child is not listening, our control works negatively, widening the gap between the parent-child relationship. Here, more than Control, Care works. The same thing works in our emotional world too. Many emotions refuse to bow down to control. The more we control them, the more vigorous they become. So, knowing oneself is very important. This can only tell us what we can control and what we cannot control. It is better to invest in things that we can control rather than beat our heads over uncontrollable things.

Many times we cannot control the injustice, like in my case. The thing that has happened has already harmed both of us. But if I am struck there only and don't move further, that is not good. We should keep moving. Though this thing made me disbalanced for a while, I regained my calmness and started to work sensibly. I did not question my injustice; rather, I invested in doing my work right. Over time, other team members saw my efforts and challenged those who treated me unjustly. That was a massive move, but it took me patient perseverance for three and a half years. 

Yes, injustice instills intolerable pain and hurt. We need to work on it immediately so that it does not turn into an indurating wound. We need to connect to our emotions and let them flow, but not under obsessive thoughts; rather, in a rational way, we execute our moves. We should also be willing to accept that we are humans and have limitations. Not everything we can control. So wisely, we should choose to work on things that we can change and have an impact on. 

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